Therapy Isn’t for Everyone — And That’s Okay

Parita Sharma
Sep 22
2 min read

Therapy is often spoken of as a cure-all. “Go to therapy” has become a mantra, almost a cliché. But the truth is, therapy is powerful only when it meets willingness. After working with thousands of clients, I’ve realized that therapy is not for everyone — and that’s not a bad thing.

Below, I share when not to go to therapy, and when therapy can truly change your life.

Don’t Go to Therapy If…

Therapy may not be right for you if you are:

Convinced you know it all. If you believe you already have the answers, therapy will feel pointless.
Unwilling to put in effort. Change requires practice between sessions. Without effort, progress stalls.
Seeking validation only. Therapy is not about proving you’re right — it’s about exploring what could be different.
Coming for someone else. If a partner, parent, or employer forced you in, resistance will block growth.
Looking for instant fixes. Therapy is a process, not a pill.
Hiding the truth. Dishonesty prevents authentic progress.
Trying to manipulate or weaponize therapy. Using it for leverage in relationships, disputes, or to discredit others only harms you.
Refusing to feel discomfort. Healing involves facing painful truths. If you shut down at discomfort, the process cannot move forward.
Treating therapy as a checkbox. “I showed up, now I should be better” is not how transformation works.

In short: if you’re closed, resistant, or unwilling — therapy will feel frustrating, maybe even useless.

a man and a women, one resistant one hopeful

Go to Therapy If…

Therapy becomes life-changing when you are:

Curious about yourself. Open to exploring patterns, beliefs, and emotions you may not fully understand yet.
Willing to try. You may not have the solutions, but you’re ready to experiment with new ways of thinking and behaving.
Ready to take responsibility. Therapy works when you stop outsourcing blame and begin exploring your role in your life.
Honest with yourself and your therapist. Vulnerability and truth are the building blocks of growth.
Open to discomfort. Therapy will challenge you. Breakthroughs often follow breakdowns.
Patient with the process. Change takes time. Small steps add up.
Seeking change, not just comfort. Therapy is about transformation, not only reassurance.
Invested in your growth. Showing up consistently, reflecting, journaling, practicing — these make therapy work.

In short: if you are open, honest, and committed — therapy can be one of the most empowering journeys of your life.

Closing Note

Therapy is not a place where a therapist “fixes” you. It’s a collaborative process. If you come with curiosity, commitment, and courage, therapy can help you rewrite your story. But if you walk in resistant, manipulative, or unwilling — you may leave saying, “therapy doesn’t work.”